Welcome to the latest installment of a weekly contribution to the site by my husband, Thomas: Chasing Rabbits. In case you missed the first one, why Chasing Rabbits? My husband will be the first to admit that his thought process can be a bit…er…random. He starts in one spot, chases after some rabbits, sometimes all the way down the rabbit hole and back, but it
mostly usually always ends in a great place. But don’t take my word for it…
My wife has a terribly annoying habit that infuriates me to no end. If I were forced to choose between solving a world problem and remedying this annoyance, I would have to think long and hard about the decision. The longer we have been together I have come to realize that it is actually a genetic wiring inherent in all women. She is definitely not the only person with this malady. What is it you ask? YELLING ACROSS THE HOUSE!
No, she is not yelling to be mean. In fact, the words that are being so loudly sounded throughout the house are almost always in the form of a question. It may seem innocent or normal to some, but there are several problems with this situation.
I don’t like to yell, and I really don’t like people yelling at me. I just don’t like loud noises in general. I never have. Even in high school I was never guilty of rocking out to ear busting music. I actually turn off the radio in the car when I am by myself. I think the voices in my head are far more interesting than these people on the radio.
I usually can’t understand what she is yelling. During the day, Melissa turns on the radio through the speakers in the room next to our office. This room is very central. No matter which room of the house she may be in, I cannot understand her words as they compete against the radio. Even when the house is silent, words still get distorted between rooms.
Her voice is not getting closer. I guess I’m getting up to see what the hell she wants. Why do I have go get up? Why won’t she come to me since she is the one who obviously wants something? Why am I the bad person if I ignore her? I really don’t want to yell back across the house at her. In an attempt at conveying my annoyance and proving a point, I have just started yelling gibberish back across the house.
We were recently talking about it, and I have come to find out that my wife has mimicked this behavior from her mother, who had mimicked it from her mother. I can see visions in my head of Neanderthal women yelling across the cave at their knuckle dragging menfolk. Yes, I think this problem has existed since the dawn of man.
I know a lot of men are guilty of this as well. I think the difference is that men yell from their chair towards the kitchen asking for a beverage or snack. Their shouts usually don’t require a response. “Hey woman, get me a sammich!” Whereas women will yell questions that require a response. Sometimes these questions are quite elaborate. Sometimes they will yell an entire conversation.
I find it amusing when I see a woman step out the front door of her house, and rather than walk an additional 50 feet, she will stop and yell across the yard. C’mon, I know you can close the gap. Walk a little further. You can do it!
These are generalizations. I know that not all women yell across the house and I know that there are men who do. I am simply putting my people watching skills to use and reporting on the findings.
How about you, got a yelling female in your house? Or maybe you are the yelling female? Does it drive your special someone a little batty? Share your stories with us in the comments, so my husband knows I’m not as crazy as he thinks.
P.S. Giveaway reminders: there’s a lot cooking on Home on Deranged these days, including giveaways for: $100 Target gift card, $100 Toys ‘R Us gift card, Epiphanie Camera Bag, four – $50 Amazon gift cards, and Mohawk Rug. There must be something in there that you’d like to win!megaphone photo credit: altemark via photopin cc