I remember it like it was yesterday. To be fair, it was only 10 days ago, but still, it’s fresh like it happened yesterday. Our little family had finally gotten that getaway we’d been craving to Colorado, land where all our dreams were going to come true.
We scrimped and saved and got enough money together to stay at one of the fanciest resorts in Vail for an entire week. We were going to learn to ski, snowboard, go snowmobiling, take a sleigh ride, and shop at the ridiculously priced boutiques. Living large, as the saying goes.
But, the best laid plans and all. On the third day of our vacation, a peculiar thing happened. Most people called it the apocalypse. I just called it exceedingly bad timing. It turns out, Google had a Space Station, the Titanic of the sky, some dubbed it. Big enough to carry around the world’s wealthiest people (they have a lot of luggage, apparently) and keep them comfy cozy for months.
Since Google likes to map everything, part of the Space Station’s duty was to map the moon. Might as well get a head start on the colonization process, after all. If homes are built there, Google’s going to want a piece of that action. They map everything else, after all.
The only drawback to something as large as the Death Star looming in the sky is that it has to be powered by a fuel source that has a lot of combustion. Enough energy to power New York City, for example. Scratch that. Enough to power New York state.
And so as that morning dawned, and most of us were still hitting the snooze button repeatedly, the alarm bells were sounding on ye olde Google Space Station. Just like the Titanic hit an iceberg, the pilot on the Space Station didn’t heed the warnings about free floating moon debris. Who knew the moon was falling apart? Probably some nerdy guy in a bunker in California, that’s who.
As the Space Station endured a gash in its side running the length of about 10 football fields, the future was set. There wasn’t enough time to call Bruce Willis and his drilling crew, or Robert Duvall and his space shuttle crew. Nope, there wasn’t even time for the musicians to assemble and start playing the fiddle on the top deck.
There was only time for one distress call: “Houston, we have a problem. A really big, free falling problem. And you’re in for it.”
As the Google Space Station hurtled toward Earth, the only news outlet that covered it was The National Enquirer, and by all rights, no one believed. So as the 50 mile wide Space Station crashed into the Pacific Ocean, it’s safe to say, no one was prepared. Except for that nerdy guy living in the California bunker.
In addition to the nuclear fallout from the fuel being released as the Space Station incinerated upon re-entering the Earth’s atmosphere, the resulting impact sent waves east and west, effectively covering the coastal areas of North and South America and Asia on the other side. Those of us already sitting on higher ground were spared.
But an apocalypse isn’t any fun if it just ends there. Nope, you have to have chaos, riots, looting, panic in the streets. Luckily, Vail is a fairly laid back town, so it was more of a “Smoke ’em if you got ’em” philosophy that prevailed. Much like the wise ones in “The Day After Tomorrow,” we simply stayed indoors, because the fallout can’t get you inside, everyone knows that.
Since we were in the swanky hotel, we slept a lot. Drank a lot. Ate the gourmet food. Discussed how this was really going to cramp our style, what with no Google to guide us anymore. After all, if we didn’t have maps to lead us back home, what in the world would we do?
Thus, 10 days later, we’re still living large in Vail, just waiting for Bing or Yahoo to figure out what to do next. The moral of the story? Live in the mountains. Apparently you can survive falling space debris there.
Normally, I’d be hooking up with Baking in a Tornado and her Secret Subject Swap on a Friday, but this ain’t no ordinary Secret month. This is October’s Take 1, aka the Secret Subject Swapiversary Extravaganza. Later today, we’ll all be participating in the Blog Strut blog hop over at My Personal Accent.
But to start the morning off right, 12 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.
My subject is: “It’s the end of the world as we know it. What was the apocalyptic event and how do you survive it?” It was submitted by Erin at Searching for Sanity, a very funny lady. And if you couldn’t tell, I love disaster movies. And silly premises.
What about you? How do you think the apocalypse will go? Do the machines rise up? Does it turn out lettuce is actually bad for us and someone weaponizes it? Let me know in the comments!
Now please go share some love with all the other Secret Subject Swap bloggers. They deserve it.
Baking In A Tornado
Just A Little Nutty
Moore Organized Mayhem
Crazy As Normal
Searching for Sanity
Home on Deranged
The Insomniac’s Dream
Black Sheep Mom
Writer B is Me
And now that you’ve read the posts, head over to this PAGE and vote for me in the Swapiversary contest. And if you have a blog, you can link up your favorite post and get it some attention as well!